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Old 09-09-2009, 02:40 AM   #1
shadow aka el colombo
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Default daddys lil girl:.

um yea ima try to write a story,just let me know what you think,its my 1st time so my bad if it sucks....

it was 12 in the morning,in an unknown location on the outside of LA.the night was usually completly dark and quiet but not on this nite. this nite there had been an escape from a nearby maximum security prison so the night was illuminated by the flashlights from the police and the silence of the night was broken by the sounds of barking search dogs and police officers yelling directions and orders.they were searching for a man known as inmate 666dm187k, but outside of prison walls he was 25yr old Dominic "The Hammer" Montega who was arrested 4 years earlier for hammering a doctor to death. the man they searched for had hair about an inch long and wore a full beard.he stood at 6'3 and was muscular from working out so much on the prison yard.he was once a peaceful family man, a construction worker who worked hard and never started no trouble...he was now a man on the run.

cops: he couldnt have gotten too far!! we're in the middle of nowhere,where could he have gone!

as them and the dogs ran they passed by a dark ditch that connected to sewer lines from Los Angeles. two of the cops stoped and pointed their flashlight at the dark ditch.

cop1:you dont think he...
cop2:naaah and even if he did nobody can handle that smell of shit without a mask he'll suffocate.
cop1:yea your right

they took their focus off the ditch and kept going on their way searching.once they had moved on, a tall dark figure stood up from nearby where they were standing at and turned his view to the ditch.he looked back at the prison and the lights from the searchtower lightly showed his face,it was Dominic.he turned and ran towards the ditch and disapeared into the darkness...
miles away in a small home in the heart of south central, a young woman named janet is awakened by the sound of a knock at the door.she gets up and goes to open the door.its the LAPD.

cop: excuse me ma'am sorry for the inconvenience,but we must imform you that there was an escape tonight from the prison,it was your ex-husband.
janet: what! are you sure it was him?
cop:yes ma'am but please dont be alarmed we will be patrolling the area until he is found.
janet:he escaped from a maximum security prison,and you think just cuz a few cop cars are driving around in circles ima feel safe?

the cop remained silent...

cop:well if you hear from him or see him please inform us as soon as possible so we can handle the situation
janet:yea whatever

she slammed the door and went inside her home....
not that far away in an infamous part of los angeles known as Skid Row Dominic had come out of the sewers.the streets of skid row were full of people,but not the kind people usually associate themselves with.it was pure crackheads flooding the streets armed with knives and broken bottles.innocent girls not knowing where they were endend up being raped,and murdered here by crackheads searching for a few bucks just so they could get their high.Dominic was wearing his bright orange jumpsuit given to him by the california prison and still had on his broken handcuffs.he smelled like shit and was dirty as hell and if he walked the streets in the clothes he was wearing he would without a doubt call unwanted attention to himself so he decided to steal some new clothes from 1 of the crackheads on the street.he hid silently behind a trash container and waited for a crackhead to pass by.a few of them passed by but they were females,finally a male passed by he was a tall skinny black man wearing tore up dirty clothes.he was walking slowly dragging his feet,he was was wearing 2 different shoes on each foot and 1 didnt have any shoe laces and the other shoe was ripped all over.he held his hands up to his face and sparked a lighter,he was holding a empty cocacola can that he had turned into a pipe for smoking crack.he inhaled and a crackling sound was made.Dominic found his new clothes. Dominic stood up from the darkness catching the crackhead by surprise.the man tried to struggle but was overpowered by the young powerful attacker.Dominic grabed the man and slammed his head repeatedly into the cement wall and then slammed him onto the ground.he then proceded to take the mans clothes off and then he took off his jumpsuit and threw it into the trash,he then put on the crackheads clothes.it fit him kinda tight and he felt really uncomfortable since it was really dirty,but it was better then wearing a shit covered orange jumpsuit.he walked away thru the streets that he knew so well,and he left the crackhead with a cracked head laying on the floor naked wearing nothing but an old dirty underwear.he picked up a piece of cardboard off the floor and took out a pen he had found in his new clothes and started writing something when he finished he walked away..he walked for a while staying in the cover of the darkness of the city,avoiding any main streets stalking thru dark alleys not making any unnesasary noise until he arived in a neighborhood he once called home 4 years ago.he stood in a dark alley hiding behind the cover of a tree.in just a few minutes he had already seen 4 cop cars pass by,he knew they were searching for him.he waited for 1 more cop car to pass by before he dashed across the street and jumped over a fence into a neighbors yard.he moved silently thru the night climbing over fences and avoiding dogs until he reached the backyard that used to be from his house.he saw all the lights off except for 1 tiny lil pink light,his heart felt a warmth he hadnt felt in a long time because he recognized that pink light.he silently made his way towards the window with the small pink light and then he opened it and climbed inside.......
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Old 09-09-2009, 02:58 AM   #2
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Default Re: daddys lil girl:.

I like the story so far...keep
it comminq mijo.
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Old 09-09-2009, 06:20 AM   #3
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Default Re: daddys lil girl:.

Dominic stood up and looked down at the small pink light, it was a tinkerbell figure. he then saw the pink blankets on the bed that was in the room, he got closer to the bed and looked down at the person in it. it was his lil babygurl Jasmin.tears started coming down his cheeks and felt heartbroken as he saw lil tubes inside his daughters nose and those tubes connected to a small oxygen tank that was sitting next to her bed.he thought to himself “dam 4 years later and your hair has gotten longer and you’ve gotten a lil taller but you still got the same lil angel face you were born with” he smiled as he cried softly. His daughter was born with a tumor inside her chest by her heart, it had gotten so big that it made it hard for her to breath cuz it got in the way of her lungs. All her medical insurance could do was get her the oxygen tank to help her breath but as far as treatment and the medical help that she needed they couldn’t help with. there was no money to pay a doctor cash.thats the reason why Dominic was sent to prison. he beat the doctor to death with his hammer from work because the doctor would not even take a look at his daughter because he didn’t have any money…dominic ran his dirty hand thru jasmines hair and then took out the piece of cardboard from his pocket and tucked it under the pillow next to jasmin. He then turned away and walked silently out of the room into the hallway and he silently walked towards a closet and opened it.his old clothes was still there. he changed into some jeans that actually fit him and into a black t-shirt and into his old work boots.he still needed a shower badly but atleast he had on clean clothes. He walked into the kitchen, he was starving he opened the refrigerator and drank some orange juice straight from the container,he then grabbed a banana and ate it in 3 bites,he kept on looking for more food and he found some bread so he started eating the bread desperately. suddenly the kitchen light was turned on, he turned around in surprise and saw janet standing at the doorway with her arms crossed.

Janet: I knew you would show up. what the hell are you doing here! Haven’t you caused us enough pain and embarrassment!
Dominic: no wait I….
Janet: how do you think I feel having all the neighbors talk behind my back that my husbands a cold blooded killer huh!? How do you think your daughter feels having to be reminded all the time when shes in school that her father is a murder,huh!?
Dominic: im not a criminal!
Janet: just…just…just get out of my house right now before I call the cops on you, I don’t want jasmine waking up she….

She was interrupted by the sound of tiny footsteps and a door slowly creaking open. They turned to see and it was jasmin standing in the hallway looking up at them breathing hard pulling her lil oxygen tank on a roller with her left hand.

Jasmin: daddy? Is that you?

He looked at Janet and then he looked at jasmin

Dominic: jasmin baby,yes its me

His eyes got full of tears as he walked over to her and got down on his knees and hugged her

Jasmin: eww daddy you smell like poopy
Dominic: I know sweetheart, daddy needs a shower

Tears started falling down his face

Dominic: baby, I don’t want you to worry about a thing ok? Im going to get the money needed to make you all better ok?

Some flashlights lights shined thru the kitchen window

Dominic: daddys gotta go now sweety
Jasmin: are you ever going to come home daddy?

He looked up at Janet and then looked back at jasmin

Dominic: yes honey…I promise

He kissed her forehead

Dominic: I love you jazzy
Jasmine: I love you too daddy

Some dogs were barking outside. dominic stood up and turned to janet

Dominic: take care of her for me, ill do whatever it takes to get the money needed to get her better
Janet: don’t worry, I will

He went back into jasmins room and jasmine followed

Jasmin: wait daddy take this with you

She took off a little silver necklace around her neck with a heart hanging from it and gave it to Dominic. He took it and opened the heart and it was a picture of jasmin.he looked up at her and before he could get a word out there was a knock at the door,he immediately rushed out the window and ran into the neighbors yards. a helicopter was flying up above and spotted him.now the chase was on.
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Old 09-09-2009, 01:38 PM   #4
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Default Re: daddys lil girl:.

lol at leaving the crack head with a crack head lmao
post soon this is a good story
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Old 09-10-2009, 03:22 AM   #5
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Default Re: daddys lil girl:.

Dominic ran thru the backyard and jumped over the fence into the neighbors yard.the helicopter had the spotlight right on him he couldnt hide anywhere.he got onto the street and was met by 2 police cars coming from his left.he ran towards the right as fast as he could on the sidewalk and the copcars went after him he ran a few blocks with the spot light and the cops right on him he was running for his freedom.he ran into a liquor store parking and was cut off ahead by two more cop cars in front of him on the driveway.he turned to go the other direction but the cop cars that were chasing him were already there,so he hid behind an abondoned old rusty car that was parked.the cops got out of their cars and pointed their guns at whee he was hiding.

cop:come out with your hands up!

he sat down and layed back against the car and thought to himself "fuck,what am i gonna do!".he tried cathcing his breath from the run he just had.

cop:i repeat, come out with your hands up or we will be forced to use lethal force!

Dominic looked around for a way out and saw the fence infront of him was broken and it led to an alley.he peeked up thru the car window and couldnt see the cops cuz the lights from their cars were too bright.he heard a gunshot and window from the car broke.he immediatly ducked back down,he then took a deep breath and ran towards the broken gate and heard gunshots wizzing by him and hitting the fence but none hit.he squessed thru the hole in the fence and ran thru the alley.

cop:dammit he got away! sky,we need a visual on the suspect!

he said into his radio to the helicopter pilot

pilot:i got em,he in the alley.he aint getting away from me.

two of the cops went thru teh hole in the fence and tried to run after Dominic but the were too slow he had gotten too far away from them already.he kept running thru the alley and then got on top of a parked SUV and jumped on to the roof behind of a house behind it.he pulled himself up on top and then he was running thru the rooftops of stores.the helicopter was the only 1 chasing him because the cops that were chasing him had goten stuck back at the liquor store so he took advantage that there was no cars on the road around him so he jumped off the rooftops and ran under a bunch off bushes.the pilot had lost sight off him for a few seconds,uring those seconds he had crawled out the side of the bush and ran under the freeway overpass and then he hid under a van of a nearby house and just in time cuz 3 cop cars speeded by looking for him but didnt see him and luckily he had lost the helicopter earlier.he stayed there for a while until he saw that there was no more cop cars passing by and that the helicopter had moved on.he was tired so he decided to stay hidden there to get some rest before he moved on.he was already starting to go to sleep when he heard the front door of the house open and some white cortez nikes walk over by the van and then he heard voices.

man:ey Goofy! remember to get the coronas carnal,we ran out ese.
goofy: simon ese,so then im getting the chips and the coronas.anything else Menace?

dominic peeked out from under the van,the one standing by the van called "Goofy" was a tall bald headed cholo with a goatee and he had some tatoos on his forearms,he was wearing some realy baggy levis,a white-t and the white cortez's.the one called "Menace" that was standing by the front door looked shorter.he also had a bald head and was wearing some baggy dickie pants all creased up with a long belt hanging out to the side and on the belt buckle it had a 13.he was wearing a muscle shirt so it showed most of his body was covered in tatoos.there was a sound of girls laughing inside the house,Menace looked inside the house and then looked back at Goofy then kinda leaned in and whispered

Menace:dont forget the condoms ese haha

goofy smiled

Goofy:haha simon
Menace: wait,whats that!

dominic tucked his head nunder the van but it was too late

Goofy:what?
Menace:theres something under the van
Goofy: prolly just a cat ese no mames
Menace:that aint no fucking cat homes

Menace reached behind his back and pulled out a gun and so did Goofy.the girls inside the house yelled

girls:whats going on?
Menace: just shut the fuck up and stay inside

he walked over to the van next to Goofy.Dominic was trapped he didnt have any way out,he thought that for sure they were gonna shoot him so he just braced himself to be ready to take the shots.the 2 cholos bent down and to see what was under the van and had their guns pointed.

Menace: who the fuck are you! what the fuck are you doing under there,you lose something ese? well find yourself outta there puto.

Dominic dragged himself out from under the van and stood up and then was pushed back into the van by goofy who was just as tall as he was.he had his hands up because he had 2 guns pointed right at his face.

Dominic:im sorry,i was just hiding ill just leave nd we can forget this happened
Goofy:hiding?
Menace:hiding from what?
Goofy:how about i just put a bullet in your dome and then I can forget this ever happened

he cocked his weapon getting ready to shoot

Menace: o shit carnal hold up
Goofy:why

menace crossed his arms still holding the gun in 1 hand and rubbing his chin with the other.

Menace: o shit! do you know who this is?
Goofy:umm the boyfriend of 1 of those hoodrats inside?
Menace:no pendejo, this is the vato that has been on EVERY fucking channel on tv all night carnal. this is "El martillo" haha
Goofy: o what serio? this is him? chales but he smell like shit homie haha

both of the cholos put their guns away

Menace:haha simon
Goofy:ey holmes dispensa for that shit right now, dont bang my head with a hammer now ese porfas haha

Dominic got kind mad that they were clowning on him for the whole hammer thing.

Dominic:yea whatever,so yea ima just be on my way orite sorry for the inconvenience
Menace:wait!

Dominic turned to look at Menace

Menace:umm if you want stay the night ese
Goofy:what?
Dominic:what?
Menace:simon holmes,see check it out homie.we dont really get along with pigs too well and shit we saw you running from them all night on la tele so you must be tired

he coughed and kinda covered his nose

Menace:and you smell like shit! i aint usually this nice pero chingao you can use my showers ese! and mi carnal can give you some of his clothes to wear.
Goofy:ey holmes i bought that shit for me
Menace:then buy some more shit ese
Dominic:umm thanks but why you doing all that for me?
Menace:cuz we Raza holmes we need to stick together...and cuz your famous ese your the fucking hammer! haha

they went inside the house and Menace introduced Dominic to the girls

Menace:ladies,this is my homeboy "the hammer" haha
Dominic:its actually Dominic
Goofy:whatever hammer haha
Menace:haha simon...Dominic or hammer or whatever, this is ummm....

he turned to Goofy and whipered

Menace:ey holmes whats their name again?
Goofy:no se guey,just call them pretty and beautiful so they dont think bad haha
Menace:haha simon...anywayz,these two sexy ladies are linda and preciosa
girls:aww how sweet
preciosa:eww hes ugly and smells like shit
Menace:dont disrespect my company like that ey!...but shes right holmes go take a shower and shave or whatever.

Goofy left to 7/11 to buy the stuff he was gonna buy, Menace took Dominic into the room and gave him some of Goofys clothes to wear.the news was on tv and Dominic saw his picture and then he saw himself in the mirror and realized he would be easy to recognize so he asked Menace if he could borrow some clippers to cut his hair and a razor blade to shave.

Menace:simon ese check it out.

he pulled out a razor blade from the cabinets and held it up to dominic

Menace: schick quattro "free your skin",like the comercial says haha

he then pulled put some clippers and gave them to Dominic.Dominic then went into the bathroom and put the clothes on top of the closed toliet seat and he stared himself in the mirror and took 1 last look at himself the way he was.he then started using the clippers to cut his hair,he ran the clippers thru his long hair and saw as lil by lil his hair fell infront of him intot he sink.he pretty much just shaved his head not completly bald just super short.he then wet his face with some soap and started using the razor on his long side burns and the sides of his face just leaving his mustache to connect with the hairs on his chin,so now he had a goatee.he then got the clippers again and just trimmed his goatee to make it just a lil bit shorter.after that he cleaned up the hairs and thru them in the trash.then he got into the shower and le tthe steaming hot water hit his body,it was relaxing after such a stressful night.cleaned himself good with the soap 3 times to get the smell off him.after about 2 hours of being in the bathroom he finally came out dressed up in Goofys clothes...
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Old 09-10-2009, 04:38 AM   #6
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Default Re: daddys lil girl:.

..KeeP iT CoMiNG..
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Old 09-10-2009, 07:02 AM   #7
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Default Re: daddys lil girl:.

i thought he was goin to get caught lol kic n thanxs for posting
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Old 09-10-2009, 07:38 AM   #8
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Default Re: daddys lil girl:.

keep it coming...
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Old 09-10-2009, 01:39 PM   #9
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Default Re: daddys lil girl:.

damn good story
fo a minute a had flashbacks from michael myers nd spiderman wtf dont ask hahahaha...
n-e ways keep posting!!!
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Old 09-10-2009, 05:41 PM   #10
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Default Re: daddys lil girl:.

Ooo your writing a story shadow??
I love your poetry so ima cheak it out, ill let you know what I think.
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