Fearless
I sat at the bar. Waiting. Waiting for time to come and take me away. I wasn’t drinking. Shit I couldn’t drink anymore. I sat watching people laughing, enjoying themselves while having a good time. I thought back to the first day that I went with Junior to the bar.
“Come on get out of the car”
“Open the door for me”
“Fuck no!”
“Fuck you then”
“UGH!”
I watched at Junior stormed to the other side of the car to open the door for me. I loved getting him mad because he acted so funny.
“Thought so cabron”
“Cabrona tu”
“You like it” I said turning around and smiling at me and then looking to the side where a group of girls were.
“I do” he said then grabbing my hand and taking me inside.
“You want more water?” the bartender said to me.
“No I’m fine girl”
“Are you okay mija. Where’s Junior?”
“I’m…..” and I paused truth was I didn’t even know how I was anymore “I’m waiting for Junior”
“Oh okay then. Just let me know if you need anything”
I had text Junior since 7. The time I got to the bar. I told him to meet me there at 11:30. And it was already 2a.m.
“Can you give me a paper and pen?” I said the bartender lady.
She hanged me a paper and pen.
Dear Junior, I sat here at the bar waiting for you since 7. It’s already 2a.m. and I’m guessing your not coming. I needed to talk to you face to face. I didn’t want to do things like this. I finally had the guts to talk to you and I guess your over it. But what I was going to tell you tonight I don’t think was going to make a big difference in your life but it sure as hell going to change mine. But you know what? I’m pregnant. I’m 3 months. I guess I’ll have to deal with it myself. I love you Junior, with all that I know. And I know that we let people get to us and talk shit to us but damn I tried working things out so many times but you refused to work things out. I know I had my part in what happened but your not perfect yourself. Aver. Tell me who is Anaih? And which one of your baby momma’s did you beat? Junior. I know so many things that you have no idea I know. The whole Aids rumor? What’s up with that? And you sell drugs??. Yea I know everything. You think I’m a stupid little girl. JAJAJA. Yea sometimes I do act like one. But you know damn well I’m not. Anyways. I’m leaving Junior. Far away from all the problems far away from everything. I don’t know If I’ll come back to Florida. But I eventually will. I was going to tell Armando to give you this letter but I thought it over and I’d rather not. But tell him that Perla is with me. So I’m going to ask Peter before he leaves to work.
I’ll see you one day. And know. That no matter what happens I’ll always always always love you. ALWAYS & FOREVER…… Love Melanie.
“Perla I’m on my way to pick you up”
“Okay. Bye”
I clicked and left the bar. It was like 2:30. Perla lived only 5 minutes away so I got to her house fast.
“Did you talk to him?” she asked as soon as she settled into the truck.
“He didn’t show up” I said pulling off and driving to Junior’s house.
She didn’t say anything. She knew I wouldn’t say much. We drove 10 minutes and got to junior’s house and parked outside in the front.
“What are we doing here?” Perla asked.
“Peter is going to give Junior something” and in less than 30 seconds Peter pulled up in front of us.
“Don’t leave” he said to me.
“Got to”
“Running away from your problems isn’t going to solve anything.”
“I’m not running away because I’m going to come back eventually” I looked at him and he just shook his head.
“Where’s the letter?” he asked and I handed it to him.
“Well then take care, both of you. Call me when yall get there”
“I love you dude”
“I love you to cunada”
And he walked off and knocked on the door. I watched Junior opened the door a minute later. He was sleeping.
“Here” Peter said handing him the letter.
“What is this” he asked.
“Read it”
And he did. I watched as he unfolded the letter. And he read it. I seen the expression on his face when he reached to the part where I wrote that I was pregnant. He even looked up at Peter.
“When did she give this to you?” just right know peter said and then pointing to where we were parked beside his truck. And that was our cue to leave. And I drove off. Junior ran to try and reach us up but he couldn’t.
“You fucked up on the best thing you ever have and ever will have in your life.” Peter shook his head and left to work.
After that I didn’t know what happened to Junior. I never asked Peter when I spoke to him.
2 years later.
Time flew by so fast! It had already been two years since we were last in Florida. BUT we were back. Perla, Myslef, and Jazlyn my baby girl.
“Mamma. Yo quiero teta” Jazy said in her baby language.
We pulled into my parents house. They knew I had gotten pregnant and had only seen Jazy in pics.
“Look. That’s my mom and dad. Your welo’s mija”
She looked at my parents who stood outside waiting. Her eyes opened up wide and her mouth dropped. That smile of hers was so amazing. Just like her dad. She ran to them and hugged them.
“Damn!!!! You look so different!”
I turned around and seen Jose, my cousin.
“Nikka! Was up!”
I gave him a hug. He had changed so much too.
“What’s up with your hair dude?” I said as I touched his mow-hawk.
“Eyy eyy. Handle with care!”
Armando Serrano. He was 23. So handsome, pretty tall he was like 6”3. Brown eyes. He was crazy.
“Para donde van?” I said to my parents.
“Con LaLa. Tiene una fiesta”
“Ohh”
I gave my parents a hug. And we stayed outside catching up.
“Y el papa?” my dad asked.
I didn’t say anything. Until I looked at Jazy “Esta muerto”
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I WISH I COULD SAY I DONT CARE NO MORE BUT DEEP INSIDE ME..I DO AND THATS WHAT I DONT WANNA DO.!!!!!!!!
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J****
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